Living with Emotional Freeloaders: Meet Zoe the Chaos Queen

The Empress of Entitlement | Living with Emotional Freeloaders & Pet Chaos

Welcome to the heart of 1*0* — a place where living with emotional freeloaders is a daily reality.

Chaos is curated, drama is free-range, and our finest tenants don’t pay rent — but demand snacks hourly.

Meet Zoe, the reigning empress of entitlement, who rules the space with sulk, sass, and unapologetic snack raids.

Zoe — aka Jaaw-yee, Joeya, Zoya, Zoey, Zoi

Position: Master of all ceremonies
Current Status: Jailed abroad (on my walker)
Mood: Sulk. Sass. Assy.

The Zoi Report: Queen, Criminal, Chaos

She doesn’t walk. She mounts. A fuzzy surveillance agent on wheels.
Her eyes say “don’t test me.” Her legs say “no.”

BEGGING.
The constant.
One sound — vessel, wrapper, sneeze — Zoe appears.

Core Competencies:
PPES™️ — Peeping, Peeing, Eating, Sleeping.
(And the occasional, uncalled-for Number 2. Poo-etry in motion.)

Doorbell reaction: Already at the balcony. Tail-first.
Part ninja. Part nosy aunty.

Her Emotional Palette:
90% Sulk.
10% Sass.
100% Assy — strictly humans only.

Leave her alone?
Go ahead.
Return to chaos and the unmistakable stench of regret.
She is the hidden object game.

Zoe appears.

Coming Soon:
🖤 A Survival Guide to Living with Emotional Freeloaders (a.k.a. pets)